Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Crass - Stations Of The Crass

The following is a mock-up dialogue offering ABSOLUTELY INDISPUTABLE proof that Crass has been wrongly maligned by dumbass mowhawk dips :

- Naysayer: I've listened to 3 freakin' tracks of this Feeding Of The 5K nonsense, and the scratchy, thinly produced, minimalist guitar noise is weird and VERY DISSIMILAR TO THE CLASH!!
- Generic 20-somthing "punk": Oi, it's all about the LYRICS, maaaan. (recites an interpretation of "Banned From The Roxy") Sure, they're just an accessory to my punk aesthete, but those lyrics, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. That's what it's all about. (consumes shitty beer)
- Naysayer: Whoa! I guess it's just one of those bands too punk rawk for me! I will not bother letting their music sink in and tell everyone who doesn't "get them" immediately that there's simply nothing to "get"! (resumes rocking the casbah)

...and that's what Don McLean was referring to in "American Pie".

You see, Crass - while thematically punk as fuck - were only really geared musically towards the punk kids in their earliest incarnation. While they were still perfecting their scathing, painfully strict moral codes (which were apparently a little too strict for the band, even), they were also breaking out the berets and shifting their sound into noisy art-rock for the pretentious demographic - like me! That said, Stations Of The Crass is by no means their most inaccessible work; if anything, this features all the wiles of a pop album! A considerably noise-raped, art damaged, ridiculous take on a pop record, but nonetheless packed with catchy vocal arrangements, hooks both lyrical and instrumental, and all the smarts that Crass were known for. How could anyone who's heard this album denounce these guys as a purely idea/lyric-oriented band?

Oh wait. Yes Sir I Will.

For the sake of completion, I didn't schlep off the muddy, worthless live material at the end. I LEAVE THAT IN YOUR HANDS. Hey, do you think Crass themselves would be okay with all this filesharing? I like to think so, being the commie liberal hippy bastards/bitches they are.
(awaits dozens of retarded responses from people who can't detect sarcasm)


  1. This is one of Crass' best records. I bow before thee for posting it. Your blog is awesome, yo. <3

  2. Aw, thanks! This is definitely top tier, but I think Christ might even be better... how about you?